Tag Archives: reflection

One word – part two

“Just tell me the truth.  Am I going to lose my leg?”

“I don’t think it will come to that, but I can’t be sure.”

A cut on my leg changed my entire life.  Read the next chapter in my journey through cancer here :




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I meant to post this at least a week ago…

I have a couple of blog posts that I have been meaning to write.  I need to do some research on Elves.  My suitcases still aren’t fully unpacked.  There’s a basket full of laundry downstairs that is probably wrinkled to the point everything will have to be washed again.

Countless blogs are written about writers who procrastinate and what we can do about it.  But the question on my mind is WHY do I do it?  Most of the things on my overwhelming “to do” list would take less than 30 minutes.  Remember my basement?  I put off that project for YEARS.  Literally.  Once I rolled up my sleeves and dug in, it took me about two weeks. I could use the excuse that it was a huge undertaking, but when I take a step back and look at the situation as an outsider, I seem to have an excuse for every task I’ve been putting off.

Every single time I finally finish something, I am surprised by how little time and effort it took.  Every single time I ask the same question.  Why did I put that off for so long?

I am not a lazy person, so this upsets me.  It’s so out of character and yet I do it all the time so I suppose it isn’t, which gives me pause.  It’s been bothering me for quite a while, yet I’ve actually even procrastinated the process of sitting with the feelings with the hope I can get to the root of the problem.

no parking

No Procrastination !

The Universe has a way of forcing your hand.  I put off renewing my vehicle registration to the point where I actually forgot about it.  A couple weeks ago, I went out to visit a friend and parked my car in what turned out to be a “no parking” zone.  That little mistake, compounded with my lack of registration, cost me a few hundred dollars in fines.  An expensive lesson and hopefully I’ve finally changed my ways.  Every time I catch myself procrastinating, I stop and ask myself why.  9 times out of 10, I can’t find a reason so I just do whatever it is that I was trying to avoid.  “Eat that frog!”, as they say.

Is there anything you’ve been putting off?  What’s the longest amount of time you’ve procrastinated?

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It was the best of times and it was total shite

Thus far, this has been both the worst and best year of my life.  That may sound like an odd thing to say.  Allow me to explain.

On December 31st, I took Izzy to the vet.  She hadn’t been eating and seemed “off”.  I went to the appointment thinking perhaps she’d developed diabetes.  I left with an empty crate.  My sweet girl who had such a hard start to life was gone.  When I say “life” she spent the first 7 or 8 years in a cage, devoid of human contact – not much of a life at all.  It wasn’t fair.  The cancer that I knew was lurking there when I adopted her 1.5 yrs ago had spread throughout her body and I made the decision to release her from her pain.  So I returned home that day in a state of shock, without my sweet little girl.

Then in Mid-January a very dear friend of mine passed away suddenly from what I now refer to as “that effin’ flu”.  To say that it knocked me on my proverbial butt would be an understatement.

About a month ago, I had a not-so-fantastic run-in with my past.  The good thing that came of it was I finally rolled up my sleeves and tackle my basement.  I am still not 100% finished but I’m *this close* and quite happy about that.

I needed a break from pretty much everything, but didn’t intend to be away this long.   I have been writing.  Unfortunately, it’s all still in my head.  I haven’t been reading anything, either and that makes me sad.  I don’t even want to check Goodreads to see how far behind I am in my 2014 Challenge.

I decided to take a day off and give myself the gift of a long weekend.  I had it all planned out.  Drop Ari off at the vet for his dental, head to Costco and stock up, go home for lunch, pick up Ari, then settle in for a weekend of creative bliss.  The Universe had other plans.

Ari had his dental and as I suspected, needed a few teeth removed.  The procedure was routine and he made it through fine.  Unfortunately, his mouth wouldn’t stop bleeding.  They discovered that he had almost no platelets, so while his blood was clotting they weren’t staying put.  He had no other symptoms that one would typically associate with this issue, so I spent the weekend in a daze, crying and wondering if I was going to have to say goodbye once again.

Thankfully and much to our surprise, he made a full recovery.  He’s back to his sassy self, although I have to admit I didn’t realize how much of an instigator he was with regard to barking until he had his little holiday.  Hmmm…

So it’s been a rough year so far.  Now comes the happy part.  I choose to see the lesson in everything.  It’s not always easy, nor is it usually pleasant.  It certainly isn’t instantaneous.  But if I don’t learn what I need to learn, I am going to have to go through it again.  Needless to say, I have learned a lot about myself through this process.  The most important thing is that I don’t give myself enough credit for how far I’ve come.  We often spend a lot of time lamenting what we DIDN’T accomplish that it’s easy to forget all of the amazing things we’ve seen and done, as well as the lesson’s we’ve learned and the changes we’ve been able to make as a result.


Once again, I vow to get back to work.  Step One : clear all that clutter, unopened mail, and various bricka-brack off the kitchen table that you decided would be a great workspace.  Hopefully this time my efforts will yield some results.  The Faeries are beyond restless and I honestly can’t blame them.  Stay tuned for updates and insights and other things that float through my brain.

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Shelfie Saturday !

Actually it’s more of a “Deskie”, instead of a shelfie.  But like the Faeries, I am not big on playing by the rules.

Shelfie Saturday 001

My sister made this for me and gave it to me for Yule.  She found the card when she was in Tofino, BC.  The shadowbox was done by her.  See all the little mushrooms?  She made those out of clay.  There are also butterflies and a ladybug in there.  I opened the case and you can smell the moss.  She’s so talented.  I absolutely love it!

I had some time to reflect over the Yuletide, both about the Author Quest and future projects.  Some interesting characters came forward, new goals were set, and realizations made.  Stay tuned for more…

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