Thus far, this has been both the worst and best year of my life. That may sound like an odd thing to say. Allow me to explain.
On December 31st, I took Izzy to the vet. She hadn’t been eating and seemed “off”. I went to the appointment thinking perhaps she’d developed diabetes. I left with an empty crate. My sweet girl who had such a hard start to life was gone. When I say “life” she spent the first 7 or 8 years in a cage, devoid of human contact – not much of a life at all. It wasn’t fair. The cancer that I knew was lurking there when I adopted her 1.5 yrs ago had spread throughout her body and I made the decision to release her from her pain. So I returned home that day in a state of shock, without my sweet little girl.
Then in Mid-January a very dear friend of mine passed away suddenly from what I now refer to as “that effin’ flu”. To say that it knocked me on my proverbial butt would be an understatement.
About a month ago, I had a not-so-fantastic run-in with my past. The good thing that came of it was I finally rolled up my sleeves and tackle my basement. I am still not 100% finished but I’m *this close* and quite happy about that.
I needed a break from pretty much everything, but didn’t intend to be away this long. I have been writing. Unfortunately, it’s all still in my head. I haven’t been reading anything, either and that makes me sad. I don’t even want to check Goodreads to see how far behind I am in my 2014 Challenge.
I decided to take a day off and give myself the gift of a long weekend. I had it all planned out. Drop Ari off at the vet for his dental, head to Costco and stock up, go home for lunch, pick up Ari, then settle in for a weekend of creative bliss. The Universe had other plans.
Ari had his dental and as I suspected, needed a few teeth removed. The procedure was routine and he made it through fine. Unfortunately, his mouth wouldn’t stop bleeding. They discovered that he had almost no platelets, so while his blood was clotting they weren’t staying put. He had no other symptoms that one would typically associate with this issue, so I spent the weekend in a daze, crying and wondering if I was going to have to say goodbye once again.
Thankfully and much to our surprise, he made a full recovery. He’s back to his sassy self, although I have to admit I didn’t realize how much of an instigator he was with regard to barking until he had his little holiday. Hmmm…
So it’s been a rough year so far. Now comes the happy part. I choose to see the lesson in everything. It’s not always easy, nor is it usually pleasant. It certainly isn’t instantaneous. But if I don’t learn what I need to learn, I am going to have to go through it again. Needless to say, I have learned a lot about myself through this process. The most important thing is that I don’t give myself enough credit for how far I’ve come. We often spend a lot of time lamenting what we DIDN’T accomplish that it’s easy to forget all of the amazing things we’ve seen and done, as well as the lesson’s we’ve learned and the changes we’ve been able to make as a result.
Once again, I vow to get back to work. Step One : clear all that clutter, unopened mail, and various bricka-brack off the kitchen table that you decided would be a great workspace. Hopefully this time my efforts will yield some results. The Faeries are beyond restless and I honestly can’t blame them. Stay tuned for updates and insights and other things that float through my brain.